Schucks.... I guess its been a while.

"So long, farewell, aufweidersene, goodbye!" 

I regret to inform anybody who has been following this that this particular blog is going to be discontinued. Too much is going on and this is the harder of my two blogs to write in. Thankyou for reading and waiting patiently. The Rider in Black will be restarted and continued and perhaps pictures will follow. (the whole story was based off of a photo shoot my brother had me do and an idea sparked after he had given me the pix) If you wish to continue reading my writings and follow my thought processes and feelings and perhaps even whats going on in my life (boring right?), then I shall refer you to that. Sorry ya'll.

Till next time...

-Lf

"Dang, Baby-Girl..."

"Dang, baby-girl... look whatchoo dun, fool!"

Those words follow me... I do something stupid, that's the first thing that runs through my head when I do. Tonight? Those words were used along with some much stronger language I probably shouldn't be saying in the first place... I treated the one I care most about like a yesterday's trash... I'm tired from a hard mt. bike ride, I'm short on sleep, and the one person that loves me unconditionally and wants to help me, I let fly... horrible way to end a day.

The poor guy... He didn't do anything but love and care. As soon as that phone was hung up, I knew... I did no good in that... he tried desperately to get good things through my thick skull, and I loathed his words because my thickskull and my ridiculous pride got in the way. I regretted it all a short while later... This is what humanity does to Christ. He loves us. He is a jealous lover and will never stop loving or forgiving or chasing us down. This is what we do to Christ. We nailed him to the tree with our choices. What if we did a greek 180*? I want to be at the foot of that cross. Forgiven, make a turn around. Start treating them right. Beginning with my first love when I see him and my everylasting and only tonight.

"Out of pain is born love..."


- Lf

Long time coming...

It's been atleast three months since I last posted something....  It has been a crazy three months and I will not go into any further detail or else risk boring whoever happens to be reading this. A brief overview would be I worked at camp, came home to an ever-loving buddy, started junior year, stepped up and became part of ASB via Spiritual VP, and brought home another camp horse (since Teddy and Knight went home) by the name of Moriah. That is my three months in short.

I will post more later, it is just for the moment I need to go to bed so I am rested for the mt. bike ride tomorrow. Later ya'll!

-Lf

Death Happens....

A couple friends of mine lost someone they knew... One was the guy's best friend, the other just a friend. This guy was a 16 y/o highschooler.... he left behind his football team, a buttload of friends, a fun, loving family, and a girlfriend who loved him. He died young... not many around here do. He died never having the experience of a real life outside a shared home, a occupation, a family... maybe he even died without accomplishing his biggest dream. His family is heartbroken.... His friends devastated.... And may the Father pour His peace and grace over his girlfriend.... death happens. If only it didn't have to come so hard...
 The one thing that really caught me when I "FB Stalked" his page.... He died a Jesus Freak. In his own words, he put this down in his information. His bestie posted many heartfelt statuses that would make anybody's heart wrench. His best friend also said that he would eagerly await the day when he would either join him in heaven or see him at the second coming. I do not believe in spirits rising to heaven while the body lays in the grave. I believe in a temporary, dreamless sleep where the dead will awake when Christ comes. But knowing that these boys believed that they would see each other again in the Father's love is enough to send a surge of hope through everything that I know. Both of them appear to be toughened teenagers from going to a rowdy public highschool. These boys have the full weight of worldly things pressing on them and they still believe. They will see each other again, that is for sure. It is a message of hope to me as a reviving Christian. If they can believe in the midst of their battle against the Devil's bombardments, then why can't I in the midst of a sheltered life away from most temptations? Death happens... but in death there is also life... The One forfeit his life, so we might live.
 In His death we are Alive. I will no longer take this for granted. The friend two friends will see each other again. I believe it with all my heart.

Long Time, No Speak

Today I come back to the land of bits and bytes. =)

This is Teddy.

He is a 20 y/o Welsh pony with the spunk of a young gelding. He's 13.2hh (small boy) and I do not dwarf like a regular 16 y/o girl usually would. He's a girl's horse, he's friendly, sweet, has get go, and always whickers and noses at my pockets when he feels like something is wrong. This is the pony I get to spend my summer with. He follows me around the pasture, plays tag with me, he's amazing.

And to top it all off, he taught me to ride. We've shared bonding time for nearly nine years now.

Love you, Theodore.

You don't have to yell...

" Everybody take a breath, Why are all your faces red? We're missing all the words you said. You don't have to yell. Draw your lines and choose your side, 'cause many things are worth the fight. But louder doesn't make you right. You don't have to yell"



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-71-kZX97xI

Nobody or Everybody

School. ..... School..... More school.... Home.... Parents.... Unhappy parents... School.... Unhappy person... Flustered buddy.... Confused me? How did all this happen? Earlier this year I swear I could've been maintaining everything nearly perfectly.... for a week. Can I really not make anybody happy? I want to go crawl in a hole, live on Stewart by myself while I get things sorted out.... Hold up a sec, do you see the problem here? I think I'm starting to. I am only focused on self and my abilities. I don't mean to be a bother, I just haven't matured to the point of where I can see these things coming from a mile away. Even though I have seen some things coming and can typically predict the next move, I still have no clue how to go about taking care of it in such a way that it is best for the needs of the many, and not the one. My name means nothing in a million, yet I am special because I have the power to make a difference. Don't we all? I only takes one person to make a move for a hundred others to follow. That's what Jesus did. He came to show us what God - our Father, our Lover - really is like. To show what it means to be a Godly being. He gave us an example to follow. Can we achieve it to the key? No. We are human. Jesus was the superhuman, concieved in a virgin by the Holy Spirit's seed. Nuts? Of course it is, but the idea of a greater being loving us so much that He's never gonna let go of us is also nuts. But such as these are none the less true. If I trust my God... If I love my God... Shouldn't it be easy to follow His example? I mean, I'm a Christian, right? No. It's not always going to be easy. The biggest thing Jesus asked us to do while He was here is love one another. That doesn't mean chummy chummy. Love is not that infatuated friendship. Love is doing something for someone, being caring, or just letting well enough alone/"sleeping dogs lie" even when you don't feel like it or highly dislike them at the time.  This is not the easiest thing in the world to do. Will Satan make it hard? Of course he will! Do you think he wants us profusely and blindly following the Savior? Aw, heck no! But if listening, seeking out, and timidly following Christ's steps is thrown out the window, then what do I have left? I have nothing. No plan. No love. No way to live. I'll be as good as the shadow that mimicks my living body: lifeless and spun about like top leaning in every direction. It doesn't work. Answer to problems? Seek Him out. Rely on Him. Focus on Him and those around you. Forget about your selfish needs. God will take care of you. Give it a week of this behavior, earnestly trying. A difference after that week? I think so. Are you gonna try it? Are you, LMF gonna try it? The one who seeks no help, reduces her self down the lazy jockish mind, and scrambles to accomplish everything she sets out to do? Yes. I will try it. I Godless life while calling myself a Christian is asinine and hypocritical. Perhaps this was the real problem all along.