Aaaaff!! x)

(my description of today's lunch break)

Two teenagers...
An old decrepit piano....
Sitting side by side on a piano bench...
Everyone laughing, talking, sharing in a joyful disarray...
The world is frozen; silent only to the two....
His hands quietly alight on the keys and start to slowly dance their
way across the vast expanse of weathered black and white...
The notes are slightly off tune and softly fall on the ear as though

a whisper were meant to be heard better...

Then they acquaint themselves with each other and grow less shy;

forgetting their differences and disonances...

His fingers ebb and flow as the notes swirl and rise to meet her avid ears...

They sway and roll and play with deep emotional ties like a river rolls a stone downstream....
Looking only for a moment at her face, he knows.... 
Her heart lept and thundered as her being was whisked away as if she was no more than a feather on an autumn breeze.... as she took flight, she could no longer help herself as whimsical giggles escaped her lips....
Away from the commons soaring through a place only known to them.... 
The sun above, and setting with vibrant colors as the chaste, gentle melody slows....
The enchanting theme brought the girl back to the reality, and the warmth of his body next to hers...
The shift and sway of his movements were one with the sweet aria.... fingers flawlessly translating emotion... 
She takes in a shallow breath and watches as intoxication took the last of her.... His fingers take up the lulling end and leave it drifting in midair... He turns to her... Their eyes meet for the last few moments of silence as dazed and elated smiles break upon their faces...
Joyous laughter comes forth from their fatuous grins...
Understanding, the passion and the felicity of the experience....
All because two teenagers sat on a bench...
One contriving a serenade....
A single serenade deemed
Unforgettable...

Oopsi-Daiseay

Ok, so last night I was too whooped to right my ending to my 48hrs worth of exhaustion. =P the morning started out with me falling asleep in class until music time which I really woke  up and was just plain silly for the rest of the day. Then I came home and crashed. xP Got to bed by 10:00. Crashed out cold. Thats it.

Oh! I forgot to mention my favorite blooper in my time as a t-wolf for the girls team at skagit. So here it goes: Mr. B was teaching as a boxing out drill and he was using the word "butt" a hecka much! Three were "butt-ers" and the ones going in trying to steal the rebound were "butt-ees" and Mrs. B was just chucking the ball at the backboard for us. Mr. B always yells shot (must be instinct by now) and advises us to do the same.  The actual happenings? The ball goes up, everything instantly goes slow motion as soon as the ball leaves Mrs. B's fingers. I see the ball going up out of the corner of my while keeping light finger tips on the back my opponent, feeling their every twitch and movement. I hear Mr. B draw in a breath to yell his usual word.... the world stops.... frozen in time.... unbelieving for a moment... "BUTT!!" .... we busted out laughing... everyone on the court... doubled over, racking with loud ab-working laughter. No one could keep from giggling even 20 minutes after the ordeal...

On a different note... lessons... learned... and learning.... people.... take a step back and be on the outside looking in. Realize who they are and why you call them friend... boyfriend.... girlfriend... brother... sister... parent... Remember why.

until next time.

Really stupid ideas that you should never try

Ok, so I literally just spent the whole night up.... ... and its the first day back from break.... (not the best time to pull an all-nighter, huh?) What can I say? yesterday's practice was hard on me. Dehydration, fewer people so we got through our drills faster, really like really pushing it. This is usually how practice goes, but my hydration levels haven't come back up and its about 18hrs after practice about now.. =P so i cramp up from mid-low ribcage down. Bad.  so I stay up all night reading a book, and i finally turn my lights out at 6:12 and then my alarm goes of at 6:13 and again at 6:15. I look like the female version of Frodo when he's passing into the shadow world. xD This is going to be an interesting day. If nothing else, it means I'll probably getting away with falling asleep leaning up against Christian. =P lol  
I'll probably post about the outcome of my sleepless adventure this afternoon or tonight. =P
later!

The Burn Paper Chronicles

Lately I've been having an exceedingly hard time keep stress from building in my life. Don't get me wrong, I love my life! But that also means that everyday is a roller coaster of emotions. Thats no fun for me or my friends. Especially my family and my buddy!            I burn a candle in my room when I'm in it, or moving in and out of it. I keep it lit in there for several reasons: 1-My room usually reeks of cat, she-jock, and sterilization chemicals. 2-I have a faux wooden floor so my room stays pretty cool and the candle helps warm it. 3- In a way, the warmth, the smell, and the cozy inviting-ness give a "snuggle-up and be happy" aire to my room. 4- it also serves as a semi-stress reliever by sitting in front of it and just staring into the flickering flames. (don't ask why b/c idk anything other than that it feels hypnotic almost)               While I was moving my candle from one spot to another, the lightbulb clicked on for a second and I got a brilliant idea. The Burn Paper Chronicles. I've never been good at keeping a journal, or letting people around me know much about my inside life unless they're in my inner circle of friends/"family". The idea is to sit in front of the candle when stressed with a pen and a pad of paper; vent out every little thing that is bothering you and stressing you out; when you're done, you either watch the flames for a bit more or you tear the vent page(s) off the notepad and set fire to it via candle and stick it in an old amo box and set it on the roof so the smoke alarm won't go off. Hence: The Burn Paper Chronicles (it should've been "Ash Paper Chronicles" since technically they can't be read anymore after they've been cremated.... hmm... sounds like a book title or something... Ooh! Lightbulb!)

--
Lf

His Plan... I don't understand, but I can trust.

I can't claim to know the future. I can't say that I have chosen my path for myself. My every move, thought, and breath have been written in the book of life long before the day I was born. When He created me, He knew exactly what the combination of genetics He was putting together was going to do. So He devised a plan. A plan to give me the happiest life possible by His standards. It is the hardest thing to see. When the pain comes flooding in and the tears cascade down your face and you're screaming to the heavens, "Why?! Why have you let this happen?!," we don't see whats in the future to come. We can't see why our choices and mistakes are a blessing in the end. None of us can understand it... Ever. Not till we go back to live with Him. I don't understand. I can be perfectly happy where I am and understand that it may not be the way I hope its gonna be. But they doesn't stop me from dreaming (hecka much dreaming!). But when the rain falls and the storms come and rip my world to pieces, I got His promise to build on. I'm perfectly happy where I am. Life is good. I have my fair share of struggles but the only serious threat/thing I have to worry constantly about in my life is not busting my knees the rest of the way and not getting another concussion. Small potatoes. But learning contentment and happiness in Him isn't just for the times when your heart is totaled, its for when you think you can do everything on your own. Your life is not your own, it is a gift. Use it wisely, and what it was given to you for. Don't use it like those socks you got for christmas last year and use them to make flour bombs.
Like a rubic's cube, our beautifully written stories are practically impossible to figure out. All that we have to go on is the acceptance of the unknown, and trust that it will turn out for the best outcome imaginable.

--
Lf

Confusion and Happiness...

I love confusion. =) That is a very odd thing to say, I know, but I love confusion. Like the kinda happy, silly, spun-around-in-an-office-chair-and-can't-keep-your-feet kind of confusion. Its a blast! Especially when my friends are being all silly and goofy about it too. You know how you are talking with a friend (or two) and then you branch subjects for a moment and then they make a comment that makes you go , "Wait, which one are you talking about again?" Or those times when you know its one thing or the other and their shooting you a mischeivous grin and giving no hint whatsoever to which one is the correct answer? you get the idea. x) I've been having a lot of those moments lately and it just dawned on me what a morale boost it is to my day. =P (good grief... could I sound anymore like a nerd there?)
As far as happiness goes, I'm learning the hard way what it really means. (I bet yur reading this and now exactly what I'm talking about) This isn't a negative post, I promise!                    ... what happiness means (atleast in my family/school family) is a warm home to go back to, life with loving friends and family, a twin brother, the lil things that you don't notice usually, a buddy that ain't gonna let me go, and the privilege of being an American citizen in the most beautiful part of the country. Ever have those days where it feels like God thwaps ya on the back of the head and gives you a wake up call? Nice isn't it? None of the daily crap matters.  ...hmm... I think I'm gonna try this. gonna wake up and be positive in the morning. lol, even when all i got to show for it is a dorky sleepy grin across my face. =) yeah, that sounds good. I'm gonna try this.

Voiceless Job Shadowing

Yesterday, I went to go job shadow my old riding instructor. Perhaps you've heard of her? Kari Williams? Anyways, if you live in the north of the beautiful northwest part of Washington and you're looking for a good reining/cutting horse or looking to get riding lessons, you should take from her. (She is incredible!) I've grown up dreaming of, drawing, fawning over, and loving every horse or pony I ever laid eyes on. So when I was about 7 my parents let me start taking riding lessons. Nine years of asking questions, making a fool of myself, watching, and obtaining experience later, I am trusted with horses and still madly in love with them. (Note to self: hard work pays off) So I go to job shadow Ms. Kari and I follow her around while she gets a young stallion ready to turn out to pasture. (all the horses except for the lesson horses range between the ages of 2 and 6) When we come back from turning the squirrely guy out to pasture, she tells me to go down and bring a unruly four yr/o quarter horse out and groom him. After I finish this, she leads me outside across the back stable yard to the covered round pen, shuts the gate, tosses the lunge whip in, and instructs me to let him relax then work him a bit then bring him in back in about 15 minutes. The gelding rolled, shook, then proceeded to run around the round pen bucking and kicking up his heels. At this point, I was questioning whether or not Ms. Kari was going to come back and check on me (which she never did). Fifteen minutes later, we were walking back into the barn where I was instructed to get out another 5 yr/o and work him very lightly. (they were getting ready to go to a show over in eastern WA) This is kinda how the rest of the day went. Ms. Kari would tell me what to do next, and I would do it. It was kinda nice to be trusted like that. I've dreamt about that day since I was two. To be trusted with spunky horses at a young age and no one would be supervising me; just expecting me to get the job done. I flew! I felt like I was sky high! x) Even Alex trusted me unless I had and understood my questions. Same with Travis, except he was more for teasing everybody in the barn. lol ugh, ok, i better quit ranting about that. perhaps I'll right tomorrow too.
later ya'll!

-
Lf

Good Grief...

So yesterday.... Let's just say I ended up on the wrong side of the rain, so to speak. I snapped and totally screwed up in the process. Just a lot of crap and stuff; definitely not my brightest. Anyways, the point is, is that it scared the jeebies out of me, I'm ashamed to say that it took me forever to quit crying, and it left me totally dehydrated, numb, and whooped for today's challenges. So what happened when this morning hit? I was walking around like the living-dead. Just numb; putting on a happy act to make up for the lack of feeling. Then I saw CJ and Asher. CJ caught up to me at chapel and shot me one of his contagious grins, and later after literature2, Asher came up and gave me a hug (CJ's little brother). It made me feel super lucky. Who's got friends that are more like family than anything? Let alone practically your whole school being like that? Sometimes I wonder if all it takes to snap out of things is just a hug and/or some quiet words.... It might take more depending on how close you and the person are. But its crazy what just one touch from someone your close can do to you. The dark clouds that were hanging over my head earlier? Practically gone. The numbness? I'm more alive then dead now. Maybe there is something more to this. Who knows?
       I don't blame you one bit if you're thinking, "What in the world?"  This post wasn't necessarily supposed to make sense. It very well could if you can relate to the last part, but yeah. (or maybe I just need to write when I have enough sleep)
Later all!

-
Lf

First of the Fallen

Ok, so I kinda left anybody that read my last post hanging. My real name is Laurel. I may or may not be your average teenage girl depending on what your view of "average teenage girl" is. I leave it to you to decide what you think I look like before I post a profile pic or something.

So today was the first of the fallen. Sounds strange, huh? 'tis true. It was the first day of unofficial fall in beautiful wet Washington state. I fell subject to ill equipped lips while playing trumpet in the church orchestra today, fell into tumbling wonderments and awed thoughts as I held a baby for the second time in my short life, fell over laughing with my Deven (friend; like a lil bro but pretty dang awesome for one), fell short of my parents wishes (yet again), and fell into deep stewing over my plot to launch Da Vinci's Notebook's, The Gates so that all the Microsoft-loving-Mac-hating friends of mine might laugh in envy as such a thing as never happened to a MacBook before. (Go Apple!) Hence the name: First of the Fallen.
I suppose if my buddy is reading right now he would be thinking something that I think he would be thinking and if he is then I will ask him now, AHEM, to stop it. (hard to follow? good. It was intended for my best budd)
Speaking of which, did I ever mention him? First glance you'd think him just another guy from the geek squad. He's way more; he plays a beast keyboard and is very capable of figuring out just about any instrument, he can sketch like no lefty can, he's a gentleman to the end, he is the most loyal person I've ever met, give the best hugs, and is the bestest buddy a girl could ever hope or even dream for. That's, in short, my bestest friend in the whole wide world. =)
Anyways, back to the original topic: Fallen. I suppose fallen could be used in many senses. You've fallen for your boyfriend/girlfriend, you've fallen and you can't get up, you've really fallen off the edge this time, etc. etc. etc... You've fallen. We all have. I prefer to trip before I fall. Its more natural and is a parallel to my real life. How do you fall? Do you freefall into flight into your dreams and goals? Do you fall and pick yourself up again?
And I suppose that is where I will leave you tonight.
Goodnight all!

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One of many